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The Marvel Cinematic Universe BUT IT RHYMES
HeroBoltsy
Posts: 785 ★★★
With Avengers: Endgame coming soon, I wanted to recap the entire MCU such that me and my mates would not have to explain every single detail to each other in the dark of the theater. But watching every single film would, to be honest, not fun. And so I decided to attempt a feat that (I don't think) no one has ever achieved before:
Recap all the MCU films.
In poetry.
I hope y'all will join me on my journey through the MCU.
So, let's start from the beginning, one last time.
MARVEL STUDIOS' IRON MAN
BUT IT RHYMES
Recap all the MCU films.
In poetry.
I hope y'all will join me on my journey through the MCU.
So, let's start from the beginning, one last time.
MARVEL STUDIOS' IRON MAN
BUT IT RHYMES
My name is TONY STARK,
And for many years, I spent my life happy as a lark.
You see, my father founded the Stark Industries company.
And now, the CEO just happens to be me.
Everyone buys Stark weapons. Trust me, I know,
Even the military asked me to demonstrate the new missile “Jericho”.
But my transport was attacked, blown up by a bomb
I sat in a chair while they threatened me, so evil and yet so calm.
Turned out these “Ten Rings” had kidnapped another man,
A scientist, Ho Yinsen. And so we began to develop a plan.
We built a device called the Arc Reactor,
In our weaponized suit of armor, it was to be the most crucial factor.
I wore the suit and torched their goons,
They could not escape the IRON MAN, those buffoons.
Yinsen died, but I managed to make it home.
But I longed for the freedom of the suit, and how it allowed me to roam.
So now Stark Industries doesn’t sell guns,
And in my Mark II, I fought a bunch of terrorists in a tank. And won.
It was so easy. They barely had heard a whistle,
When they realized they were being attacked, and suddenly:
TANK MISSILE.
But it turns out my real enemy was Obadiah Stane.
He had sent the Ten Rings after me, desiring...something? Money? Fame?
He wanted to take over Stark Industries as its new head,
But I sent Pepper to search his computer instead.
She found out that he gave the weapons to the bad guys,
But then Stane stunned me at my house, stole my Reactor, left me to die.
But I reused the first Reactor, and put on my suit.
I went to fight Stane, the similarly armored brute.
But I flew high up, and while so did he, his suit froze.
But even after he hit the ground, the Iron Monger still rose.
I asked Pepper to overload my large Arc Reactor, surging the power,
And Stane fell into it, dead before the end of the hour.
Afterwards, the press had a few queries and questions,
And Coulson, Agent of S.H.I.E.L.D., had a few suggestions.
He gave me an alibi, a cover story to explain that night.
I’d say Stane disappeared on a plane, not in a fight.
So I nodded, walked up to the podium, and faced the reporters.
They were curious, anxious, and filling up my headquarters.
My friend Rhodey told me, “Stick to the cards.”
Because why wouldn’t I? The story had so many safeguards.
So I picked up the prepared statement, and I began.
The truth is…
I am Iron Man.
And for many years, I spent my life happy as a lark.
You see, my father founded the Stark Industries company.
And now, the CEO just happens to be me.
Everyone buys Stark weapons. Trust me, I know,
Even the military asked me to demonstrate the new missile “Jericho”.
But my transport was attacked, blown up by a bomb
I sat in a chair while they threatened me, so evil and yet so calm.
Turned out these “Ten Rings” had kidnapped another man,
A scientist, Ho Yinsen. And so we began to develop a plan.
We built a device called the Arc Reactor,
In our weaponized suit of armor, it was to be the most crucial factor.
I wore the suit and torched their goons,
They could not escape the IRON MAN, those buffoons.
Yinsen died, but I managed to make it home.
But I longed for the freedom of the suit, and how it allowed me to roam.
So now Stark Industries doesn’t sell guns,
And in my Mark II, I fought a bunch of terrorists in a tank. And won.
It was so easy. They barely had heard a whistle,
When they realized they were being attacked, and suddenly:
TANK MISSILE.
But it turns out my real enemy was Obadiah Stane.
He had sent the Ten Rings after me, desiring...something? Money? Fame?
He wanted to take over Stark Industries as its new head,
But I sent Pepper to search his computer instead.
She found out that he gave the weapons to the bad guys,
But then Stane stunned me at my house, stole my Reactor, left me to die.
But I reused the first Reactor, and put on my suit.
I went to fight Stane, the similarly armored brute.
But I flew high up, and while so did he, his suit froze.
But even after he hit the ground, the Iron Monger still rose.
I asked Pepper to overload my large Arc Reactor, surging the power,
And Stane fell into it, dead before the end of the hour.
Afterwards, the press had a few queries and questions,
And Coulson, Agent of S.H.I.E.L.D., had a few suggestions.
He gave me an alibi, a cover story to explain that night.
I’d say Stane disappeared on a plane, not in a fight.
So I nodded, walked up to the podium, and faced the reporters.
They were curious, anxious, and filling up my headquarters.
My friend Rhodey told me, “Stick to the cards.”
Because why wouldn’t I? The story had so many safeguards.
So I picked up the prepared statement, and I began.
The truth is…
I am Iron Man.
19
Comments
I actually haven't seen the Incredible Hulk. Since they replaced Edward Norton with Mark Ruffalo basically right of the bat in Phase One, I didn't think I needed to see it. So I did what I've usually done with movies I might have to watch but don't want to: I looked them up on good ol' Wikipedia. But even then I found the story a tad bit... boring, and I was really reluctant to write out two pages of poetry for the Incredible Hulk. So...I might have cheated a little.
Here is MARVEL STUDIOS' INCREDIBLE HULK
BUT IT'S THREE HAIKUS
ARMY NO LIKE HULK AT ALL.
HULK FIGHT ARMY GUYS.
ARMY ATTACK BANNER.
MR BLUE MAKES BLONSKY INTO
ABOMINATION.
HULK AND ABOM FIGHT.
WRECKED LOTS OF THINGS IN HARLEM.
HULK WINS! “THE END.”
What do you guys think? Please let me know if you would enjoy me posting more of these; I certainly enjoy writing (most of) them!
I'm doing all the MCU films in order, however, so Infinity War is probably going to be the last one I post on here; the "Grand Finale" if you will. I guess you could rap it, though I'm not really a rap person myself. Anyways, I'm going to go work on Iron Man 2 now. See y'all soon!
So here is MARVEL STUDIOS' IRON MAN 2
BUT IT RHYMES
I’m using my suit to protect the world any way I can.
Six months after I beat Iron Monger, I reopened the Stark Expo.
If anyone wants to see great new innovations, that’s where they’ll go.
But my suit is poisoning me, getting into my very blood.
Even brand new Arc Reactors soon become duds.
To make matters worse, my suit’s wanted by the Army.
Even my business rival, Justin Hammer, testified against me.
But how to build the suit, I’d never admit.
And yet, my palladium cores are killing me, and nothing can replace it.
So I made Pepper the CEO of Stark Industries instead of me. Why?
It’s pretty simple: I’m going to die.
I decided to go car racing, because why not?
But then this Whiplash dude showed up, and so we fought.
I beat him though, and turns out his dad worked with mine.
Guess he was so mad at being obscure, he turned to crime.
I threw a birthday party, but I miiiiiight have gotten drunk.
Rhodey took my Mark II, and our fight made a lot of clangs and clunks.
Next morning, I’m a little bit hungover.
But Nick Fury shows up, gives me a bunch of my dad’s tech that was leftover.
Turns out the Expo’s set up like a molecular structure.
This new element could replace all the Reactors that have ruptured!
So, with the help of J.A.R.V.I.S., I built a particle accelerator downstairs!
And synthesized a new element! Nobody cares!
Anyways, at the Expo, Hammer unveiled a bunch of military drones.
But they’re so bad, they might as well be shooting stones.
Whiplash took over the drones and attacked.
But, again, Hammer Tech sucks. They were easily cracked.
Rhodey and I fought Vanko in a ripoff suit of armor.
Compared to my tech, it wasn’t quite the charmer.
We took him down, and I saved Pepper.
But Fury didn’t want me for the Avengers Initiative. How clever.
S.H.I.E.L.D. wanted me as a consultant, though, so that was cool.
So two medals for two suits who took down two fools.
In the end, from Hammer and Whiplash, I had nothing to fear.
But I’m pretty sure there’s another story here…
BONUS ROUND
My name is Ivan Vanko, and I want my bird
Justin Hammer, the fool, was confused and asked, “A bird?”
The American continued, “You want a bird?”
He didn’t hear me, so I said again, “I want my bird.”
He replied, “You want a bird? I’ll give you 10 birds.”
Now I saw what was wrong, and said, “I want my bird.”
He asked, “Is this a bird in Russia?” Why doesn’t he know about the bird?
A little later, he brought a cage and said, “We got you the bird!”
But I saw through it. “This is not my bird.”
Again, the American was confused. “What do you mean? This is the bird!”
But I could tell they were wrong just by looking at the bird.
He thought it was a “great bird!”
But again, it was not my bird.
Still, Hammer thought it was a gorgeous bird.
...bird.
I already have Thor and Captain America ideas on the way; stay tuned, those will probably be up soon. Thanks for reading!
Do you mean Marvel Universe Live? That was a play, not a musical.
I died at the bird rhyme.
@Yellow8Fellow good to see you enjoyed the bird rhyme lol but why did you have to bring up the Spider-Man Broadway "musical" lol
Seriously watch it it’s hilarious.
My name is Thanos
yall are dumb
ive come to balance
with my thumb
Get all stones
even in my kidney
I was very sad
when I threw my kid-knee
Avengers are dumb
I am very cool
Now bow down
Under my rule
I am purple
I used to be blue
Loki has failed me
Now he is a fool
Everyone is dead
Except for half
Now let me put some clothes on
Cause I can feel a draft
@Yellow8Fellow
Every few weeks the game is upended
Exciting new bugs, but don't be offended
Come here to complain
We'll laugh at your pain
Explaining it works as intended.
Tell me it's me, is your internet checked
4 bars online, why you wasting my time
Check your servers Kabam, they suck..
MARVEL STUDIOS' THOR
BUT IT'S A SERIES OF LIMERICKS
The Allfather who took from the Frost Giants a Casket of Winters Frozen.
“You shall be the king”, spoke he,
My brother’s name is Loki,
And I do love my hair, long and golden.
*hair toss*
I was to be recognized as crown prince in a ceremony,
But Allfather watched the guests closely.
Along came three Frost Giants,
Whose king was a tyrant,
But the Destroyer stopped those brash phonies.
Now I was mad, and I wanted to attack,
I gathered my friends, of whom I had no lack.
We crossed the Bifrost Bridge,
Arrived in Jotunheim (which felt like a fridge),
And then I knew there was no going back.
We attacked the king Laufey, who released a Beast.
And for a moment, it seemed that it would feast.
But in came the Allfather,
Though Laufey declared war (that jerk, that bother)
Odin saved us, Laufey’s lapdog now as good as deceased.
Allfather was furious, though, deemed me unfit to rule.
And I thought that that was unnecessarily cruel.
But he had made up his mind, of that there was no doubt.
He said, “I, Odin Allfather, cast you out!”
‘Twas like I was moving to a puddle from a pool.
I was sent to Earth, for causing a war.
I would return when I had found humility, and not before.
Odin sent my hammer, too, after me.
And he engraved upon it, something that made me unhappy.
"Whosoever holds this hammer, if he be worthy, shall possess the power of Thor."
As soon as I arrived on Earth, I was ran over by three scientists in a car.
I wanted to punch something, but I was tased and began to see stars.
After a bit, I heard my hammer had landed on Earth fifty miles away.
I went towards it; without it, I would have to stay.
And so I traveled with the scientists a great distance very far.
But I could not lift the hammer, for worthy, I was not.
The agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. interrogated me after I was caught.
But one of the scientists freed me, a deed like no other.
We had some fantastic drinks. They were great. Another!
You know, I think I rather like these humans a lot.
But then the Destroyer came, wrecking everything in sight.
And I stood against it, ready for a fight.
I wanted to protect the helpless humans,
But all I got was a vicious backhand.
And suddenly, Mjolnir, to my hand, took flight.
I was once more the God of Thunder.
I had learned from all my past mistakes and blunders.
I returned to Asgard, where the Frost Giants were invading.
Though Loki killed Laufey, nothing good, he seemed to be aiding.
Indeed, to see Asgard in his charge and not in flames was a wonder.
Loki tried to destroy the Frost Giants’ home.
To stop him, I destroyed the Bifrost with my hammer of uru and chrome.
We fell into space, but Odin caught us.
Yet Loki still fell into a black hole, nothing left to discuss.
I hope that somewhere still, Loki continues to roam.
I was very sad, for the Bifrost bridge, and for my brother.
Most of all, I missed Jane Foster, a human like no other.
I could not visit Earth while the Bridge was broken.
But Heimdall knew Foster was looking for me, and informed me through kind words spoken.
And to write this story...what an honor, and yet, what a bother.
i'm sorry the ending is so bad but i actually havent seen thor either
Thanks for reading, once again, and keep posting your own musical ideas!
I applaud you my fellow forum member
I come to offer your impending doom
Why do you hesitate
I send you to Valhalla