The Marvel Cinematic Universe BUT IT RHYMES

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  • HeroBoltsyHeroBoltsy Member Posts: 785 ★★★
    ...that's just a normal poem @Wakanda4Ever278 lol
    But that's OK! It's a good poem! (i didn't beat the guy cuz i wasn't trying hard enough lol) I'm pretty sure that just your basic poem has a rhyme scheme going
    A
    A
    B
    B
    C
    C
    and so on. It's the rhyme scheme I used for Iron Man and Iron Man 2. A limerick on the other hand consists of five line stanzas, rhyming like so:
    A
    A
    B
    B
    A
    I used that one for Thor because when done right, limericks can be hilariously funny. Anyways, really cool to see more people trying their hand at this rhyming thing. Captain America: The First Avenger but it rhymes will be coming soon!
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  • edited February 2019
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  • XxLoganTDCxXXxLoganTDCxX Member Posts: 2,561 ★★★★
    Thank you everyone for showing support to my Thanos rap, and thank you for supporting @HeroBoltsy and his amazing work on this amazing thread!
  • Apocalypse189Apocalypse189 Member Posts: 1,131 ★★★
    Doctor Strange Limerick (hopefully)

    I'm Doctor Strange, Sorcerer Supreme
    I control time and the Time Stone
    I trapped Dormammu in a time loop
    His disciples were turned into goop
    One by one, I'm about done
  • HeroBoltsyHeroBoltsy Member Posts: 785 ★★★
    As a #TeamCap guy, I really love Captain America as a character. (That may be too obvious.) I think he's a great hero, and just a good guy in general. And with the revelation (per Endgame's trailer) that he still carries a picture of Agent Carter with him, it's going to be tough emotionally to get through that movie.

    Of course, it might be even more tough emotionally to get through this poem.

    Here is MARVEL STUDIOS' CAPTAIN AMERICA: THE FIRST AVENGER

    BUT IT RHYMES
    CAPTAIN AMERICA: THE FIRST AVENGER
    BUT IT RHYMES

    My name is STEVE ROGERS, and I wanted to fight in the World War.
    But I was not fit enough to join even the weakest Army corps.
    I went to the Stark Expo with my best friend, Bucky.
    And it was there that I got truly lucky.

    A scientist, Dr. Erskine, enlisted me in Project Rebirth.
    I got sent to military camp, to prove my worth.
    The Colonel didn’t think I was the right man,
    But Erskine chose me as the beneficiary of his plan.
    He talked to me about what could go wrong,
    The experiment would make me super fast and super strong.
    It would work because of my kindness, however, and so the next day
    The SSR people injected me with the Super Soldier Serum and exposed me to vita-rays.
    It worked just as Erskine planned; I was taller, more muscular, and had broader shoulders.
    I had become CAPTAIN AMERICA, the world’s first SUPER SOLDIER.

    Unfortunately, the lab blew up, and Erskine died.
    He was shot by a dangerous Hydra spy.
    Because of this, the SSR went to fight across the pond,
    While I went to promote the army and sell war bonds.
    They sent me everywhere: Buffalo, New York, Milwaukee.
    Until they sent me to Italy to entertain the actual army.
    My friend Bucky, lost behind enemy lines.
    But no one wanted to look for him, and I refused to stay by the sidelines.
    Agent Carter and Howard Stark flew me in,
    I freed the captive soldiers, knowing they’d help me win.
    Then, I found my best friend, being operated on by HYDRA’s men.
    We fled to a high catwalk, and then:
    The head of HYDRA, Johann Schmidt, appeared, looking ready to cull.
    He boasted about the serum, and then revealed to me his Red Skull.
    He said, “Unlike you, I embrace it proudly! Without fear!”
    But I noticed he intended to depart from here.
    So I replied, “How come you’re running?”
    And he could not respond, even for all his cunning.
    As the factory exploded, Bucky and I leapt, and escaped.
    We led our men back to camp, though we were all a little bruised and scraped.
    The military members were surprised that we were alive, that we still rose.
    But HYDRA was still out there, so I put together the Howling Commandos.

    We went to go take out HYDRA, once we had all healed.
    And Howard Stark, in his kindness, gave me a new suit - and a shield.
    It’s stronger than steel and a third of the weight.
    It let me block bullets, and it was throwable; how great!
    But then, we had to attack a HYDRA train.
    Arnim Zola was on it; by capturing him, we had much to gain.
    Bucky and I were on it when the wall was torn open, and he fell out.
    He dropped down hundreds of meters; dead, no doubt.
    Though we captured Zola, when we got back, I was stuck in a funk.
    And, because of the Serum, turns out I can’t get drunk.
    But Zola told us the location of HYDRA’s last hiding place.
    Our attacks had left them without any space.
    We invaded them - how else? - by knocking on the front door.
    We took out their men, and then I heard a great roar.
    Schmidt had a large plane taking off, about to bomb cities into oblivion. I knew what I had to do.
    Before I left, as Peggy and I shared a moment, the Colonel said, “I’m not kissing you.”

    I leapt onto the plane, and battled Schmidt.
    And the device containing his Tesseract took a hit.
    The Red Skull took the Tesseract for himself, power glistening in his eye.
    Before a portal opened up, and he was blasted into the sky.
    I didn’t know if I could safely put down the plane, thanks to Schmidt, ever the plotter.
    And so I radioed Peggy: “I’m going to have to put her in the water.”
    The plane hit the ice and started sinking,
    And even as it went down, of Peggy I was still thinking.

    I woke up in a hospital room.
    A baseball game playing on the radio, sun shining. That wasn’t so gloom.
    But there was something odd about the nurse’s care.
    And then it hit me - the game. I had been there.
    Something wasn’t right; I ran through the wall.
    And ended up in a place I didn’t recognize at all.
    Then a bunch of cars showed up, and a man walked out.
    He had been waiting for me outside the hidden hideout.
    I’d been asleep for 70 years, though I was still in the United States.
    He asked me if I was going to be okay. I said, yeah. It’s just…

    I had a date.

    Thank you guys all again so much for your support on this thread, it really makes me feel like my work matters to someone, and that's just a great feeling. Keep up the good work on your own poetic interpretations of the Marvel universe, and I'll see y'all soon for The Avengers!
  • HeroBoltsyHeroBoltsy Member Posts: 785 ★★★
    Alright, here we go. The sixth MCU film. The end of Marvel's Phase One. And the beginnings of so much more.

    MARVEL'S THE AVENGERS

    BUT IT RHYMES
    PRELUDE

    I am Loki, of Asgard, and I am in exile.
    Banished from my home by my father; so cruel and vile.
    Yes, I was lost and alone, all thanks to my brother.
    ‘Till I did meet a being known as... “The Other”.
    He promised me a great big army,
    I’d conquer Earth with those Chitauri.
    For the Tesseract, this army, to me, he lent.
    And gave me a Scepter to lead them. And so, to Earth, I was sent.
    I went to the S.H.I.E.L.D. facility, where the Tesseract was kept.
    In the middle of their research, down from the heavens I stepped.
    I took the Tesseract, mind-controlled Selvig and Barton (who had heart),
    And fled on their fast moving, armored cart.
    The Tesseract mine, I could go anywhere I choose.
    With it, Barton and Selvig, and my army of Chitauri, how could I lose?

    THE AVENGERS
    BUT IT RHYMES

    My name is Director Nick Fury, and the world is in grave danger.
    But to these kind of high stakes, I am no stranger.
    When Loki stole the Tesseract, I knew humanity was in a jam.
    So I reactivated the Avengers Initiative program.
    I sent the Black Widow to find Bruce Banner,
    In our quest to find the Tesseract, he’d be a great planner.
    Agent Coulson went to recruit Tony Stark, that playboy.
    Stark even tried to pass himself off as his own Life Model Decoy.
    As for me, I went to get Captain Rogers, the man out of time.
    He spent 70 years in ice, and was still in his prime.
    I gathered them together onto my Helicarrier,
    And together, they tried to find Loki by going beyond every conceivable barrier.
    We discovered him in Germany, looking for iridium, a rare element.
    He forced the bystanders to kneel, so arrogant.
    Captain Rogers dropped down, in uniform, and fought Loki to a standstill.
    Before Stark swooped in, hijacked our sound systems, and proceeded to “Shoot to Thrill”.

    They took Loki aboard the Quinjet, and began to fly
    Back to the Helicarrier, before Thor dropped out of the sky.
    He took Loki down to the forest, where they talked.
    Then down Stark went, and battled Thor - they were deadlocked.
    Both men, one of metal and one wielding metal, were well in shape.
    Apparently, Stark jested, “Doth mother know you weareth her drapes?”
    Before it escalated too far, Captain Rogers appeared, and demanded they yield.
    Thor would not, and attacked. And so hammer met shield.

    Thus, the god of thunder relented, and joined us on the Helicarrier.
    He told us Loki planned to break a barrier.
    A barrier between worlds, it would allow Chitauri to invade Earth.
    To Loki’s absolute rule of humanity, this would give birth.
    So we put him in a cell; if we pressed a button, out he would fly.
    Unbreakable barriers, thousands of feet drop. You might as well say, “Bye-bye.”
    Meanwhile, Stark and Rogers began to dislike each other; red clashed with blue.
    Until they both found my plans for “Phase Two.”
    They were mad, but they couldn’t see:
    If we couldn’t defend ourselves from aliens, we’d cease to be free.
    Suddenly, an explosion: One of our engines went out.
    If another one died, we’d be dead, no doubt.
    Banner became the Hulk; wrecked very many things.
    He battled Thor, who seemed to fly on gale wings.
    Meanwhile, Stark suited up and tried to fix the engine.
    He and Captain Rogers were slowed by Loki’s henchman.
    Rogers, of whom Coulson kept baseball cards with authenticity,
    Was confused by Stark’s directions: “It seems to run on some form of electricity!”

    Romanoff fought Barton, and managed to hit him on the head.
    He was himself again, though, in the chaos, Loki fled.
    And, terribly, as he did so, he killed Agent Coulson.
    He impaled Coulson with his Scepter. And it was done.
    The death of Coulson made the mood very sour.
    The Avengers argued, before realizing Loki was targeting Stark Tower.
    He had used Dr. Selvig to build a portal,
    Which would let the Chitauri invade Earth and subjugate us mortals.
    So Stark flew to the tower, where Loki bragged about summoning soldiers in bulk.
    But Stark merely replied, “We have a Hulk.”
    Then, Loki explained his plot, that idiotic man.
    And Stark fired back, “Not a great plan.”
    Now, Loki and his army were formidable opponents, I admit.
    But Stark’s bravado knew no bounds. He said, “If we can’t protect the Earth, you can be damn well sure we’ll avenge it.”

    Though Loki pushed him out the window, Stark summoned his suit.
    And then the Avengers realized the Chitauri were en route.
    They fought the Chitauri as well as they could,
    But five against thousands, they stood.
    Suddenly, Dr. Banner arrived on a vehicle...he might have stole?
    And he turned into the Hulk - six parts became one whole.
    The Chitauri soldiers were furious; they let out a scream.
    As the Avengers assembled - it was just like a dream.
    They battled the Chitauri, and figured out how to close
    Loki’s portal. Then, we froze.
    The World Security Council had sent a nuke,
    I’m pretty sure they’re all just idiotic kooks.
    Stark managed to take the nuke and send it to the Chitauri home.
    It blew up, and the invading army ceased to roam.
    Loki surrendered, and accepted a drink from Stark pro forma.
    And then the Earth’s Mightiest Heroes all went out for shawarma.

    EPILOGUE

    My name is The Other, and our Chitauri have failed.
    Loki, the Asgardian, has been captured by his people and jailed.
    Yes, the Chitauri have taken their last breath.
    And to fight the Heroes of Earth again... would be to court Death.
    But you will bring happiness to the universe, you shall make it brighten.
    For you, my lord, are THANOS, the Mad Titan.
  • HeroBoltsyHeroBoltsy Member Posts: 785 ★★★
    In light of the Android users' plight over the update, I've decided to release this short limerick to help y'all get through it:

    Champions on Brawl nodes, you may dislike giving bait,
    Unavoidable damage and unblockable attacks, you may even hate.
    But what's more evil than the Void,
    Is being on Android,
    And realizing that, unlike Apple, you cannot update.
  • Ultimatesaber32Ultimatesaber32 Member Posts: 742 ★★
    quite inspiring. i'll see if i can whip up something as well
  • Yellow8FellowYellow8Fellow Member Posts: 186 ★★
    edited February 2019
    @HeroBoltsy
    Well, now that those great rhymes are done
    You have finally finished Phase One
    From making one about Iron Man
    To satisfying every Avengers fan
    This idea was a great
    It's something I appreciate
    I'm looking foward to your start on Phase two
    Then you would have to finish the rest of the MCU.
  • HeroBoltsyHeroBoltsy Member Posts: 785 ★★★
    Brilliant, @Beyond00_ !
    I'd say we still have a couple of months to go before your 5 star Galactus gets countered by my 5 star Doctor Doom, ha. Really interesting to see this other side of the community, tbh. We're usually so loud and obnoxious that it's pretty refreshing for me to see us calm down and write a little bit of poetry. Good job, guys!
  • HeroBoltsyHeroBoltsy Member Posts: 785 ★★★
    Alright, let's keep this going. The first film in Marvel's Phase Two and the end to the Iron Man trilogy, I'd like to present the first MCU poem I wrote while ill:

    Marvel Studios' IRON MAN 3

    BUT IT RHYMES
    My name is Tony Stark, and before I was Iron Man,
    I met a man called Aldrich Killian, who had a plan
    To get me to join his company, AIM.
    He invited me to join him on the roof, but I never came.

    Many years later, after the Battle of New York,
    I started building more suits, with more power and torque.
    Rhodey’s the Iron Patriot now, and we looked into a terrorist leader.
    “The Mandarin”, who was definitely no bottom feeder.
    Wherever he bombed a place, nothing was left.
    His motivations seemed to be fear and terror, not theft.
    I myself have been suffering from...PTSD.
    Even just a little kid mentioning New York frightened me.
    Then, Killian reappeared.
    He talked to Pepper, though something seemed weird.
    He was no longer crippled and weak,
    Instead, he seemed to be at his physical peak.

    But that was soon put out of mind,
    Because my home the Mandarin did find.
    He blew up the house, though I managed to escape.
    But I was then left in an unfamiliar landscape.
    I was in Tennessee, where the Mandarin had blown someplace up.
    I figured out that the explosions were caused by heat buildups.
    These soldiers had taken Extremis, their heat rising exponentially.
    And then they blew up, consequentially.
    But then I was attacked by two Extremis-powered soldiers,
    Defeating them without my suit was like trying to move a boulder,
    I blew up one, but the other took a kid, who was on his shoulder curled.
    But the kid surprised him with a flash grenade. You like that, Westworld?

    I realized all the soldiers were AIM,
    Created by Killian to aid the Mandarin in his terrorist game.
    I tracked the terrorist to his Miami base,
    And trashed his goons that lay all throughout the place.
    Turns out the “Mandarin” was a fake,
    Merely an actor that made the US army quiver and shake,
    Killian was behind everything; he kidnapped the President.
    On live television, he’d kill the gent.
    Then, the US and their enemies would be controlled by him.
    So I summoned all my suits, both strong and slim.
    I beat him, though he smashed my suits to bits,
    His face burned with a fiery blitz,
    Yet he still rose, shouting, “I AM THE MANDARIN!” I thought this was the end.
    But then, Killian was killed by Pepper, my wonderful girlfriend.
    Because I cared for her so much, I activated the Clean Slate protocol.
    All my suits blew up, and I got surgery to remove metal shards quite small.
    I no longer need the Arc Reactor. It’s like my life again began.
    But…

    I’ll always be Iron Man.

    To everyone who has supported me on this thread, again, thank you so much. Keep posting your own poems and rhymes here; it's really awesome to see what this community can come up with when we're not all hating on something or other. I'll probably take some time off of posting in this thread (cuz i'm sick yay), but I'll be back with Captain America: The Winter Soldier soon!
  • HeroBoltsyHeroBoltsy Member Posts: 785 ★★★
    Alright, it's been a while. My apologies for that. Aaaaaand I think I may have also miscounted: Thor: The Dark World was the next Marvel film after Iron Man 3. I was probably looking forward to Winter Soldier too much (or TDW not enough, ha) and so after I got well again, I decided to rectify that issue.

    I realize that the use of limericks in the original Thor: BUT IT RHYMES was probably one of the better changes in rhyme structure that I used, but:

    A) I've actually seen TDW, and it's too boring to pull off that kind of joking rhyme scheme for me.
    B ) I had a better idea.

    So here, I'd like to proudly present...

    Marvel Studios' THOR: THE DARK WORLD

    BUT IT RHYMES
    I am LOKI, of Asgard.
    Son of Odin, who has placed me under heavy guard.
    I shall be locked up forever, till I am rotten and olden.
    How I despise my brother, Thor, he with hair, long and golden.
    All I wanted was to rule the Earth; was that too much to ask?
    But, Asgard, it seems I shall never be back.
    My own father banished me to the dungeons, beneath all the land.
    He would have killed me, had Mother not stayed his hand.

    I was locked away, alone in a cell.
    Warriors defeated by Thor were brought in, having in battle fell.
    Mother sent me many books; a great blessing.
    But that did not make me forget Odin’s deeds distressing.
    It seemed I would never escape this special hell.

    Then came the prison riot, Marauders being set free.
    They stormed Asgard’s palace, though they did not release me.
    But they seemed not to have much intelligence, or smarts.
    And so I attempted to make Odin that much more bereft.
    Marauders, you might want to take the stairs to the left.
    And thus, they began to practice their warring arts.

    Apparently, they were led by the Dark Elves,
    Who were searching for an Aether on Asgard’s shelves.
    My brother’s human, Foster, possessed this object.
    And to find her, Asgard the Dark Elves wrecked.
    Eventually, though, Thor prevailed, and the Elves fled.
    But then, came the guard.
    My mother was dead.

    All my life, she had given me a sense of normalcy.
    And now, Mother vanished away, Into Eternity.

    Thus, I destroyed my cell, and sat there, sad.
    Until Thor came along, in a cloak clad.
    He promised revenge for Mother’s death - how could I say no?

    We had to sneak out of the palace,
    For if caught, Asgardian Guards would mean us much malice.
    And then, to Svartalheim we would go.

    He and I, as well as Foster, flew away,
    And in Svartalheim we arrived, a Realm that had never seen day.
    Thor was a fool for loving a human; he thought I was not right,
    But Mother would have not wanted us to fight,
    So we walked over to Malekith, and then I cut off Thor’s hand.
    I handed over Foster and the Aether to the Elves; they would be able to rule all the land.
    I ask only one thing in return:
    A good seat from which to watch Asgard burn.

    But it was all a ruse -
    Thor’s hand reappeared as he tried to stop Malekith’s plan.
    He failed, though, and Malekith ran.
    And then, Kurse, his soldier, lit a fuse.

    These Black Hole Grenades almost swallowed Foster, but I intervened.
    I pushed her aside, almost got sucked in, and then Thor reached out his limb.
    Kurse attacked again, and I stabbed the fiend.
    But he stabbed me back, and as I lay dying, Thor promised to tell Father what I did. But I didn’t do it for him.

    Later, Thor and his friends went to Greenwich.
    As they fought Malekith, the Convergence went off without a hitch.
    The Dark Elf tried to destroy the realms,
    But Thor stabbed the Elf, and Malekith he did overwhelm.
    The Nine Realms weren’t destroyed, so that was splendid,
    And with the death of Malekith, the saga of the Dark World ended.

    Afterward, Thor spoke with Odin; it was time for him to take the throne.
    But Thor thought the throne would never feel like home.
    He said, “Thank you, Father,” as to Foster he flew.
    But I, Loki of Asgard, sat on the throne now - “No. Thank you.”

    Please continue to post your own rhyming ideas, or perhaps suggest what I can do better in the future. And this time, I will actually be back with Captain America: The Winter Soldier soon!
  • HeroBoltsyHeroBoltsy Member Posts: 785 ★★★
    How do, citizens! It has been a long while since I posted here, since I've been working on a bunch of other projects and whatnot. Now, Captain America: The Winter Soldier is one of my favorite MCU films. It's got great action, great plot, great characters, and especially great quotes. So apologies if there's an excess of those today.

    Anyways, I'd like to now present:

    MARVEL STUDIOS' Captain America: The Winter Soldier BUT IT RHYMES

    My name is Steve Rogers, and after the Chitauri Invasion,
    I still helped out S.H.I.E.L.D., on occasion.
    I met a man named Sam Wilson, a veteran, home from war, yet still deft.
    But I was faster; every time I passed him, I’d say, “On your left.”
    We became friends over our experience in the war, and adjusting to this ordinary life that now seemed docile.
    And then suddenly, Agent Romanoff arrived, looking for me, “A fossil.”
    Fury was sending me to the middle of the sea,
    Saving S.H.I.E.L.D. agents on the Lemurian Star was a good cause for me.
    I saved the hostages and battled Georges Batroc,
    But Romanoff had vanished during the op to steal SHIELD docs.
    When we returned, I wasn’t happy; this deception felt like a slight.
    So Fury showed trust in me by showing me Project Insight.
    Three Helicarriers that would never have to come down.
    But as I observed, I began to frown.
    These Helicarriers could take down any enemy, both far and near.
    And so I told Fury, “This isn’t freedom. This is fear.”

    I went to see Peggy, now old and tired.
    While a delay of Project Insight’s launch, Fury desired.
    He was attacked by assassins; his car flipped through the air.
    Though Fury escaped, a masked man gave him quite a scare.
    He showed up, hurt, in my apartment, and a USB he’d brought.
    He told me S.H.I.E.L.D. was compromised, and then he was shot.
    The masked assassin had returned; I chased him with my shield.
    I threw it as he got away on the rooftop, but around he wheeled.
    He caught it with his metal arm, threw it back, and then fled.
    Fury was taken to hospital and surgery, but it was no use. He was dead.

    After Fury died, I didn’t quite trust S.H.I.E.L.D. the same way.
    When Alexander Pierce questioned me, there was a lot I wouldn’t say.
    As I left, a STRIKE team attacked me, the whole lot traitors.
    I knocked them all up, then leapt out the elevator.
    Romanoff told me the masked man was the Winter Soldier.
    There was no assassin that was more vicious or bolder.
    We took the data to an Apple store,
    Found where the data came from, and nothing more.
    We borrowed a truck - take your feet off the dash -
    And arrived in a secret information stash.
    The computers were in an office in Camp Lehigh.
    The data came from these coordinates. And so did I.

    The computers booted up, and Arnim Zola began to speak.
    Forty years ago, his body had begun to grow weak.
    So he transferred his mind into computers, by death undaunted.
    And he began working on an algorithm Hydra wanted.
    Then, the camp was hit by a missile; we leapt down a chute.
    After escaping, we met with Sam Wilson, who got a flight suit.
    The three of us kidnapped Jasper Sitwell,
    As part of HYDRA, any threats - present or future - they would quell.
    In the process, millions of innocents would die, and that wasn’t right.
    Suddenly, we were attacked by the Winter Soldier; we began to fight.
    We were taken by surprise, quite unlucky.
    But in the heat of battle, I recognized the Winter Soldier as:

    “Bucky?”

    “Who the hell is Bucky?”

    We were taken in by Rumlow’s men, but we were saved by Hill.
    She took us to Fury, who the Winter Soldier failed to kill.
    The Insight helicarriers were about to launch; we had to act fast.
    If we couldn’t disable them, enemies of HYDRA would never last.
    We took over the comms, revealed that there were lots of HYDRA spies.
    But we had to stop the carriers before they got up in the sky.
    And so, as I implored S.H.I.E.L.D. to act that fateful day,
    I stated, “The price of freedom is high. Always has been. And it’s a price I’m willing to pay.”

    On the ground, fights broke out,
    And two Helicarriers Sam and I did take out.
    Then, the Falcon fell to Earth, shot by my friend.
    And atop that last Helicarrier, the saga began to end.
    I stopped the last Helicarrier; they shot each other.
    While this happened, Fury showed up and shot Pierce, the bother.
    Sam fought Rumlow, who took many injuries.
    Romanoff made all SHIELD files no longer a mystery.
    We all said goodbye over Fury’s fake grave.
    Then, Fury and Romanoff vanished, practically into a cave.
    Sam and I left to find the Winter Soldier, the responsibility all mine.
    Because, Bucky, I’m with you.

    To the end of the line.


    I'll see when I can get around to GotG... in the meantime, keep posting your own rhyming ideas, stay positive, and have a fantastic day!
  • X_ScottX_Scott Member Posts: 732 ★★★

  • Mitchell35Mitchell35 Member Posts: 1,897 ★★★★

    Saw this thread pop up again the other day and thought I'd write something. I've always like Edgar Allen Poe's "The Raven" so it's sort of a parody.

    The Summoner's Lament

    Once upon a midnight dreary, while I pondered, weak and weary
    Over many recent changes to the game we all adore—
    Rules which cheaters keep outflanking, alliance shells, off season tanking.
    Four stars banned which we’ve been ranking, ranking up for what’s in store.
    Will the changes stop the cheaters? Will four stars help with what’s in store?
    Quoth the game team “Nevermore.”

    Gifting badges have been taken, Alliance wars: start times forsaken
    All to stop the rampant cheating which we Summoners deplore.
    But the matches still are broken, and the changes give no token
    That the measures which were spoken help make fair alliance war.
    Will we ever have a season that has fair alliance war?
    Quoth the game team “Nevermore.”

    “Be that word our sign of parting, Miike or fiend” I shrieked, upstarting—
    “Fix the game and compensate us or I’ll call the Apple Store!
    Every dollar I have spent will be refunded, every cent!
    I will sell the champs I rent and make my exit out the door!
    Or will these changes fix the game and stop my exit out the door?”
    Quoth the game team “Nevermore.”

    But despite my bold prediction I can’t quit this game addiction
    Even though my RNG is worse than any time before.
    And as the wars are beyond fixing all my drinks I’ll keep on mixing
    And the game will keep transfixing my attention as before.
    And my soul from out that game that keeps transfixing as before
    Shall be lifted—Nevermore!

    This is actually beautiful. No joke
  • HeroBoltsyHeroBoltsy Member Posts: 785 ★★★

    Saw this thread pop up again the other day and thought I'd write something. I've always like Edgar Allen Poe's "The Raven" so it's sort of a parody.

    The Summoner's Lament

    Once upon a midnight dreary, while I pondered, weak and weary
    Over many recent changes to the game we all adore—
    Rules which cheaters keep outflanking, alliance shells, off season tanking.
    Four stars banned which we’ve been ranking, ranking up for what’s in store.
    Will the changes stop the cheaters? Will four stars help with what’s in store?
    Quoth the game team “Nevermore.”

    Gifting badges have been taken, Alliance wars: start times forsaken
    All to stop the rampant cheating which we Summoners deplore.
    But the matches still are broken, and the changes give no token
    That the measures which were spoken help make fair alliance war.
    Will we ever have a season that has fair alliance war?
    Quoth the game team “Nevermore.”

    “Be that word our sign of parting, Miike or fiend” I shrieked, upstarting—
    “Fix the game and compensate us or I’ll call the Apple Store!
    Every dollar I have spent will be refunded, every cent!
    I will sell the champs I rent and make my exit out the door!
    Or will these changes fix the game and stop my exit out the door?”
    Quoth the game team “Nevermore.”

    But despite my bold prediction I can’t quit this game addiction
    Even though my RNG is worse than any time before.
    And as the wars are beyond fixing all my drinks I’ll keep on mixing
    And the game will keep transfixing my attention as before.
    And my soul from out that game that keeps transfixing as before
    Shall be lifted—Nevermore!

    Oh my god.

    I remember once a friend of mine passed a Drama final with full marks by screaming the Raven at the top of his lungs. That was the bluntest force possible by which one could perform that piece.

    But this...this is a work of art. The "Nevermore" quote worked well in Poe's original piece, but, given the state of the community right now, it works so much better here. I applaud you, poet! This is wonderful! If you have any more strokes of genius like this, please do share, and have a fantastic day!
  • LeNoirFaineantLeNoirFaineant Member Posts: 8,675 ★★★★★
    @Mitchell35 @HeroBoltsy thanks. I'm glad you enjoyed it.
  • MoudouMoudou Member Posts: 151

    Saw this thread pop up again the other day and thought I'd write something. I've always like Edgar Allen Poe's "The Raven" so it's sort of a parody.

    The Summoner's Lament

    Once upon a midnight dreary, while I pondered, weak and weary
    Over many recent changes to the game we all adore—
    Rules which cheaters keep outflanking, alliance shells, off season tanking.
    Four stars banned which we’ve been ranking, ranking up for what’s in store.
    Will the changes stop the cheaters? Will four stars help with what’s in store?
    Quoth the game team “Nevermore.”

    Gifting badges have been taken, Alliance wars: start times forsaken
    All to stop the rampant cheating which we Summoners deplore.
    But the matches still are broken, and the changes give no token
    That the measures which were spoken help make fair alliance war.
    Will we ever have a season that has fair alliance war?
    Quoth the game team “Nevermore.”

    “Be that word our sign of parting, Miike or fiend” I shrieked, upstarting—
    “Fix the game and compensate us or I’ll call the Apple Store!
    Every dollar I have spent will be refunded, every cent!
    I will sell the champs I rent and make my exit out the door!
    Or will these changes fix the game and stop my exit out the door?”
    Quoth the game team “Nevermore.”

    But despite my bold prediction I can’t quit this game addiction
    Even though my RNG is worse than any time before.
    And as the wars are beyond fixing all my drinks I’ll keep on mixing
    And the game will keep transfixing my attention as before.
    And my soul from out that game that keeps transfixing as before
    Shall be lifted—Nevermore!

    "The Raven" is my favorite poem of all time. This is a beautiful remake
  • BowTieJohnBowTieJohn Member Posts: 2,396 ★★★★
    Creative you are.
  • HeroBoltsyHeroBoltsy Member Posts: 785 ★★★
    17 days until Endgame releases / 11 MCU films I haven't done = pain.
    It's OK, though, have a light-hearted space-faring comedy that literally no one asked for but still ended up being really good!
    Here is:

    Marvel Studios' GUARDIANS OF THE GALAXY

    BUT IT RHYMES
    My name is Peter Quill, and I am the STAR-LORD.
    I’m part of the Ravagers, who took me aboard
    Many years ago, after my mother died,
    And because of that, I’ve never felt right inside.
    I went to steal an ORB that the Ravagers wanted,
    And even when Ronan the Accuser’s soldiers came, I was undaunted.
    I took the Orb, and tried to sell it to a Broker,
    But as soon as I mentioned Ronan, the deal turned mediocre.
    He wouldn’t buy, so I left the shop.
    Until suddenly, in a green lady dropped.
    She stole my Orb and tried to flee,
    But I fought her for the Orb, as well as a raccoon and a tree.

    We got arrested, thrown into the Kyln, and now we’re in jail.
    One of the inmates, Drax, tried to kill the green lady, Gamora, but failed.
    She told us that she wanted the Orb to sell,
    And not to give to Ronan or her father, which was swell.
    So I, Gamora, the raccoon, Rocket, and the tree, Groot,
    Decided to make our own escape route.
    We shut off the gravity, and flew away on the Milano,
    And headed to Knowhere to become stupid rich. Bravo!
    Unfortunately, Drax and the raccoon got drunk,
    And then we had to go sell what turned out to be an Infinity Stone. Now that, I never would’ve thunk.

    The Collector explained it all to us,
    But then his servant blew up the room, which made me want to cuss.
    $@*&?#%! Not only aren’t we going to get paid,
    Ronan took the Orb, and from Yondu we had to get aid.
    With the Ravagers, we made a truce.
    We couldn’t let Ronan use the Stone’s Power and let loose.
    We warned the Nova Corps, whose planet Ronan wanted to destroy.
    The fact that Ronan wasn’t working for Thanos anymore didn’t give us much joy.
    We arrived at Xandar and faced down Ronan’s Dark Aster.
    There, we gunned down Saakarian soldiers with blasters.
    While Gamora fought her sister, Rocket caused the Dark Aster to crash.
    Though Ronan seemed dead, we were going down - it was quite brash.
    Then, Groot, the lovable tree, took root.
    And shielded us from the crash because, “We are Groot.”

    On the surface of Xandar, we saw a truth to which we hadn’t a clue;
    Ronan, alive, with the stone. I called out, “Dance-off, bro! Me and you!”
    He was utterly confused by this,
    So Drax destroyed his hammer with one of Rocket’s guns and didn’t miss.
    The stone flew through the air, and I grabbed its power.
    Suddenly, it began to destroy me - pretty sour.
    Then, Gamora shouted to me, “Take my hand!”
    My mother had said the same thing once, and so together we would stand.
    Ronan couldn’t understand how we weren’t dead; he shouted angrily!
    And I responded, “We’re the Guardians of the Galaxy.”
    We blew Ronan to bits, handed the Orb to Nova, said farewell to Yondu.
    And away on our repaired Milano we flew.


    Age of Ultron...soon. I hope.
  • XxLoganTDCxXXxLoganTDCxX Member Posts: 2,561 ★★★★
    It came back!
  • HeroBoltsyHeroBoltsy Member Posts: 785 ★★★

    It came back!

    Yeah, I'm actually alive, believe it or not. Going to try my best to get all of the rest of the MCU out before Endgame releases. And hey, thanks for being back!
  • HeroBoltsyHeroBoltsy Member Posts: 785 ★★★
    Ant-Man was one of the first MCU films I saw, and back when I first watched it, I didn't quite understand the idea of a company making dozens of films, all interconnected and set in the same universe. When the Falcon showed up, I was... pretty confused. The various references to the Avengers seemed a little out of place for me, as well. But all that aside, Ant-Man, taken solely on its own, was a great film. And it fits neatly into the rest of the MCU. But Ant-Man is a rather "small" hero, and so I wanted to represent that in poetic form, with a shorter poem in a style I haven't done before. So here is:

    Marvel Studios' ANT-MAN

    BUT IT'S A COUPLE OF SHAKESPEARIAN SONNETS

    My name is Scott Lang, and I’m out of JAIL!
    Gave Vistacorp customers back $4 million, about.
    But I can’t see my daughter till I send cash in the mail,
    And I can’t even keep a job, because Baskin-Robbins always finds out.
    Then I found out this old man had a safe, and he’s gone for a week.
    I burgled his house, but it turned out to be an old motorcyle suit.
    And so out of the house and back to mine I did sneak.
    But the suit let be shrink so small, I could have been crushed by a boot!
    I was having no part of this; I tried to return it back.
    But then the cops showed up, and back in jail I went.
    Then Hank Pym showed up, and through a series of ant-powered hacks,
    A way out of jail I was lent.
    Pym explained to me that to wear the suit, only I was fit.
    And so he was counting on me to break into a place and steal some ****.

    I stole a device from the Avengers facility,
    And battled the Falcon, Sam Wilson.
    Then I snuck into Pym Tech, with ants and great agility,
    And thus our plan to steal the Yellowjacket had begun.
    I had almost stolen the suit before suddenly, I was trapped.
    By Darren Cross, who, to HYDRA, sold both my suit and his.
    As we battled, the building exploded, out of existence it snapped.
    And then Cross held my daughter hostage - that’s how bad he is.
    We battled on her train tracks, Thomas looking fearsome.
    But to defeat the Yellowjacket, I’d have to shrink between the particles.
    And so I broke Yellowjacket’s suit; he became no bigger than a crumb.
    But I had entered a mad world, where everything was like a carnival.
    Luckily, a small disk let me enlarge again - I was free!
    And so my tale of heroism ends, with my daughter hugging me and shouting, “Daddy!”


    Thanks again for supporting this thread, and I'll hopefully be back with Civil War sometime soon!
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