A Farewell to Farms
I present: “A Farewell to Farms”
A play in 3 acts.
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Act 1
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Kabam: Guys, we have a problem. You’re powering through our hard content with too many revives.
Players : Oh, really? The content that seems like it’s designed to require some revives to complete?
Kabam: Yeah, at this rate the next piece of content will have to require 500+. We need to fix this.
Players: Oh, you mean with a revive cap like you added in AQ and AW?
Kabam: No, no, we’re going to reduce the availability of revives. No more farming in Act 5.
Players: That seems extreme?
Kabam: It must be done.
White Knights: Come on guys, if they don’t do this the next hard challenge will require 500 revives.
Players: This still seems unnecessary…
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Act 2
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Players: Hey, Kabam?
Kabam: Yes?
Players: You know that whole “eliminate the revive farms because we are powering through hard content with them” thing?
Kabam: Yes, it must be done.
White knights: Give it up already, they are doing it. They have to. It’s for the good of the game. Stop complaining.
Players: What about revives I buy with units?
Kabam: We love those! What about them?
Players: Well, can’t we still just power through content with those?
Kabam: Yes, that is a good plan!
Players: But didn’t you say you were eliminating the farms so we can’t just power through with revives?
White Knights: Can’t you understand how UNLIMTED REVIVES is a bad thing?
Players: The farms weren’t unlimited, they required time…
White Knights: Time is irrelevant in this. They required no skill or effort to obtain.
Players: Well aren’t revives bought with units also unlimited?
White Knights: Of course not. They are limited by your bank account.
Players: What about arena grinders? Don’t they have unlimited units then?
White Knights: Of course not! That is limited by…um…
Players: Time?
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Act 3
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Players: So this is happening?
Kabam: It must be done.
Players: No chance you’ll reconsider?
Kabam: It must be done.
Players: So the farms are ending. Thanks for the heads up. At least you waited until after Necropolis was out for a bit. When will they be gone?
Kabam: 5 days before the Road to the Crypt cutoff…
Players:…
Kabam:…
White Knight: Be thankful they let you do it at all!
-The End-
Farewell to the revive farms of Act 5. They were preceded in death by their older siblings, the revive farms of Act 3. We will miss you.
Post credit scene:
Players: Now what am I supposed to do with all these full energy refills in my stash?
Kabam: How does 300 gold sound?
