A Farewell to Farms

Drago_von_DragoDrago_von_Drago Member Posts: 931 ★★★★
edited January 11 in General Discussion
I present: “A Farewell to Farms”

A play in 3 acts.


Act 1


Kabam: Guys, we have a problem. You’re powering through our hard content with too many revives.

Players : Oh, really? The content that seems like it’s designed to require some revives to complete?

Kabam: Yeah, at this rate the next piece of content will have to require 500+. We need to fix this.

Players: Oh, you mean with a revive cap like you added in AQ and AW?

Kabam: No, no, we’re going to reduce the availability of revives. No more farming in Act 5.

Players: That seems extreme?

Kabam: It must be done.

White Knights: Come on guys, if they don’t do this the next hard challenge will require 500 revives.

Players: This still seems unnecessary…


Act 2


Players: Hey, Kabam?

Kabam: Yes?

Players: You know that whole “eliminate the revive farms because we are powering through hard content with them” thing?

Kabam: Yes, it must be done.

White knights: Give it up already, they are doing it. They have to. It’s for the good of the game. Stop complaining.

Players: What about revives I buy with units?

Kabam: We love those! What about them?

Players: Well, can’t we still just power through content with those?

Kabam: Yes, that is a good plan!

Players: But didn’t you say you were eliminating the farms so we can’t just power through with revives?

White Knights: Can’t you understand how UNLIMTED REVIVES is a bad thing?

Players: The farms weren’t unlimited, they required time…

White Knights: Time is irrelevant in this. They required no skill or effort to obtain.

Players: Well aren’t revives bought with units also unlimited?

White Knights: Of course not. They are limited by your bank account.

Players: What about arena grinders? Don’t they have unlimited units then?

White Knights: Of course not! That is limited by…um…

Players: Time?


Act 3


Players: So this is happening?

Kabam: It must be done.

Players: No chance you’ll reconsider?

Kabam: It must be done.

Players: So the farms are ending. Thanks for the heads up. At least you waited until after Necropolis was out for a bit. When will they be gone?

Kabam: 5 days before the Road to the Crypt cutoff…

Players:…

Kabam:…

White Knight: Be thankful they let you do it at all!

-The End-

Farewell to the revive farms of Act 5. They were preceded in death by their older siblings, the revive farms of Act 3. We will miss you.

Post credit scene:

Players: Now what am I supposed to do with all these full energy refills in my stash?

Kabam: How does 300 gold sound?

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